seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
