my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
