Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
