YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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