I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She's the barista slut.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
