I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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