he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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