I'm really into asian looking animals
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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