This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
