Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
worst night to have a conscience
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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