He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Two words: blizzard sex
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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