i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
