Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
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i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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