he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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