I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize