I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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