So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
