Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
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Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
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The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize