Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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