they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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