Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
why do cheetos always look like penises
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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