she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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