I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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