May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You've changed since you got that strap on
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The Olympian is in my bed
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
