Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She even gives head with a lisp.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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