I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
