He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
