Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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