Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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