I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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