He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
