i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
