You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
