yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
