never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
