Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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