Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
