well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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