think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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