I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize