apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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