Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
