4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Two words: nipple clamps
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