Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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