i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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