3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
