i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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