Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize