Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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