The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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