im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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