He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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