Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
