my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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