Me too!
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
