I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
no, he came in my armpit
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
