..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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