He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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