Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
