:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize